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175 lines
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<h1 class="post-title"><a href="https://cherrykitten.dev/blog/being-queer-and-otherkin/">Being Queer and Otherkin</a></h1>
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<div class="post-meta-inline">
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<span class="post-date">
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2023-06-09
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<span class="post-tags-inline">
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:: tags:
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<a class="post-tag" href="https://cherrykitten.dev/tags/personal/">#personal</a>
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<a class="post-tag" href="https://cherrykitten.dev/tags/queerness/">#queerness</a>
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<a class="post-tag" href="https://cherrykitten.dev/tags/otherkin/">#otherkin</a>
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<a class="post-tag" href="https://cherrykitten.dev/tags/neurodivergency/">#neurodivergency</a>
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<a class="post-tag" href="https://cherrykitten.dev/tags/autism/">#autism</a>
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<a class="post-tag" href="https://cherrykitten.dev/tags/cat/">#cat</a>
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<a class="post-tag" href="https://cherrykitten.dev/tags/nya/">#nya</a>
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<a class="post-tag" href="https://cherrykitten.dev/tags/meow/">#meow</a>
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<a class="post-tag" href="https://cherrykitten.dev/tags/gender/">#gender</a></span>
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<div class="post-content">
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<p>This is a bit more of a personal one, some background on me personally and on my identity.</p>
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<p>As you might have noticed, I am a catgirl. But what does that actually mean?
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For some, it might just be a weird cute thing they know from anime, others might think "a girl who likes cats".
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For me, it means I am a cat and a girl (<a href="https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Demigender#Demigirl">kinda</a>). Both are equally important parts of my identity.</p>
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<p>I am trans, I am nonbinary, and I am otherkin. I am also autistic. All of these are properties of me as a whole. They
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add up to create this entity that's writing this post right now. Remove any single one of these properties, and you end
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up with a completely different being.</p>
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<span id="continue-reading"></span><h3 id="what-even-is-this-otherkin-thing">What even is this 'otherkin' thing???</h3>
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<p>The <a href="https://otherkin.wiki/o/Main_Page">Otherkin Wiki</a> describes Otherkin as a <em>subculture of people who don't consider
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themselves human</em>, although the specifics of what that means and how exactly it manifests can be very different on a
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personal basis, and the term functions as an umbrella term for a lot of different experiences.</p>
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<p>For me, it means that in every way other than my physical body, I <strong>am</strong> a cat. I don't <em>identify</em> as a cat, I don't
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<em>think</em> that I'm a cat. I don't <em>act</em> like a cat. I <strong>am</strong> a cat. I did not choose to be a cat, being a cat is simply a
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part of me, the same way my gender and my neurodivergencies are.</p>
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<p>In that way, being otherkin is very similar to being trans. There are trans people who, having no idea how it actually
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feels to be otherkin, disagree with this comparison, probably out of some kind of urge to appeal to a wider transmisic
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society, hoping for easier acceptance by not associating with <em>"those weird ones"</em>. Personally, from my experience of
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living as a trans cat, those two things couldn't be any more similar.</p>
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<p>I get the same kind of euphoria from getting referred to with feline-related terms that I get from being called a girl,
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or from being referred to with my correct pronouns. When I look into a mirror, both the cat ears on my head and the
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boobs on my body cause a little happy reaction. I love wearing a collar with a cute little bell the same way I love
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wearing a skirt or making my dress go spinny. If you refer to me as <em>"not a cat"</em>, I will feel a similar kind of hurt
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and anger as if you misgender me. I don't need people in my life who can accept one part of me, while not respecting an
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equally important part of me.</p>
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<p>Many of my instinctive and natural behaviours align with the stereotypical cat. I meow at people to get their attention,
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I get startled really easily by sudden loud noises and will perk up in alert mode as a reaction. I bump my head against
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people to show affection, and I'm always in the way when my girlfriend comes home and I rush over to greet her at the
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door while she's trying to unpack. When I feel comfortable, I start kneading with my paws. I love chasing things and
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trying to climb up places that are actually too high for me and then being scared of getting back down. The list goes on
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and on.</p>
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<p>And then there is the overlap of being a cat and being autistic. Many autistic traits are similar to animalistic
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behaviour - Or the absence of "typical" human behaviour. I feel <strong>very</strong> uncomfortable around people who I don't know
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well, while being very affectionate and active around people I trust and love. I get overstimulated and confused when a
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lot of stuff is going on around me. I don't understand most human behaviours, and people think I'm unsociable and mean
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when I act distressed or overwhelmed in response to their behaviours and expectations.</p>
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<p>In the end, all these parts of me affect each other in many ways. My pronouns, <em>It/Its</em> represent my gender, being
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distinct from the binaries made up by human society, and actively going against the notion of what pronouns are
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acceptable or not. At the same time, they reinforce the non-human part of me. I am a cat, an animal, and thus my gender
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expression - including pronouns - explicitly breaks human ideas of gender. While a lot of people also have different
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reasoning for similar gender expressions, for me those aspects are deeply interlinked.</p>
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<p>So.. that was a weird one to write. Writing about personal topics can be so much more complex and hard than writing
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about touching computers. I hope this was interesting to read, maybe you even learned something new about people like me
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or have gained some kind of new perspective on gender and species. Either way, thank you so much for reading my blog,
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remember to stay hydrated, and have a lovely <code>{time of day}</code>!</p>
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<span class="pagination__title-h">More posts!</span>
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<a href="https://cherrykitten.dev/blog/rust-1-options-results/">
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<span class="button__text">Learning Rust Part 1: A kitten's guide to Options and Results</span>
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